For How Long?
As I sit here this morning and drink my coffee, I have had a lot of things running through my mind. A lot of thoughts about the past and even more about the current and where life has taken me from not knowing what direction was up. I always thought about what I wanted to escape instead of who I wanted to be as I was growing up. I looked through windowpanes as life flew by and wondered why I had a hard time keeping up in a brain that moved so fast. It all came to a halt when I fell through that final trap door and really hit a point in life where change was not only needed, but it become mandatory.
My fingers etched empty messages into the baseboards and walls of a room that most would have dreamed of. A supportive family with all of the means necessary to do just fine in life, yet there I was. Unsure of what move to make next to free myself of a mind that over time had become my most difficult demon. Doctors trying to medicate a human that would have skipped out on taking them due to not wanting to give up the chance to conquer his challenges. I learned to love as hard as I do and to be strong no matter the circumstances due to having to deal with discomfort, and I would not change it for a damn thing. If you are going to love in todays world… love without the expectation of being loved back…Love because you want to not because you have to…Most Importantly, Learn to love yourself in a way where at the end of it all you are able to truly provide those that you care about with the fullest version of yourself and your heart.
The hurtful truth is not always hurtful if you take it from a standpoint where it shows the true courage of a human that stands up to challenges. Passion and commitment is not actively present to those who lay down in fear, it is given life to those that choose the path that their demons tell them they do not deserve to travel on. It is born from giving life to an amount of courage that assigns seats to every one of their doubts. Sometimes it is a one by one process to deal with them and let them know that we control the outcomes that determine our future. When you ground yourself on the other side of hardship, you will look back and appreciate the strength that it took to make it through. Be proud of yourself for every move you make in regards to escaping troubled moments in life, because it is one step closer to showing your darkness that you are enough to illuminate every lie that it has ever told you.
What will you do today to discover the love that you have to offer? How committed will you remain to holding on to that love and never letting it slip into darkness’s false way of life?
